For nearly my whole entire life, I have always been an over achiever. Kristy always got more gold stars then most people. Who would have thought that I would have royally messed up my life. I graduated on time with a baby, most people don't do that, but me, I am smart enough to graduate with triplets.
I had my son and he is great! He is a pretty good kid and I am with his dad (currently) which also most teenagers are not. I know that after I had my baby at least 20 other people i knew that were still in school had kids. The majority did not graduate or have not yet graduated. Also the majority are also not with their baby's dad's.
So honestly I'm looking like a pretty shiny nickel right about now aren't I? Well thats what most people think. The truth is, I am far from a shiny nickel. I'm a dirty penny on the street no one will even pick up.
After graduation I had such high hopes, and a bright future. I was an honor roll student and I graduated with enough credits to graduate twice. However I did the most stupid thing I swore that I would not do after witnessing my sister go through not doing.
I should have gone straight into post secondary I would have been half way done. However I didnt do anything right after highschool. BIG MISTAKE. Now i am turning 20 in march and nothing. no school no job no career.
Im so upset with the way that life turned out for me, of course i dont regret my son he is an amazing little boy. Its me, i wish that i could still be a size1-3 in jeans Xs in shirts. but im not I wish that I could travel the world, go to university in the states, and do something more than i am now, writing a blog bitching about it. I mean it really is my own fault i guess but the thing is i want to get as far away from this god damn town as i can. I just want to runaway and leave and not have to look back. All the people that I went to school with get to live in paris and dominican and go travelling and see the world but i cant even go to alberta for the weekend without getting bitched at by someone and called a bad mother by someone. Im still so young and I still have all this potential and i feel like the person that I am with doesnt really care enough to support me in my time of need.
I really wish that I could go travel the united states of america but the fiuthest ive been is bellingham WA. thats only a half hour drive from the sheltered little suburb Delta BC canada. And lets face it being like 2 minutes away from surrey is honestly just brutal all these little brown people walking around with their colorful shoes and their glitter hats and their stupid flowery skull sweaters. and they talk like the are from brooklyn, sadly enough little brown boys. Your not from brooklyn and the majority of people that are in vancouver that are white dont want you there either. You should be in india in their hunble opinions. And whatever its their opinion and they are intitled to it, i myself have never been a racial person however surrey officially and even the most parts of north delta have been slowly but surely taken over by sikhs.
Thats honestly another reason that I want to get out of this god damn place and i never will. but thats okay my happiness doesnt mean anything to anyone else.
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